Miami nights are hotter than the day
Miami. Pretty much everything you heard is true. It feels more like the Caribbean or Latin America. It’s just hot. Hot, hot, hot. Between the beach bods, the fashion, the clubs, and the driving pulse of the city, you’re in for an overwhelmingly exciting time. Since the average monthly temperature never drops below 60°F, it’s easy to understand why young and old flock to this tropical city. Now you just need to find someone to flock around with.
First, let’s clarify “Miami.” It’s a county (Miami-Dade County) and a city. The main island east of Miami is Miami Beach, which is technically a different city. It’s okay to consider the greater metro area as Miami, but know the difference when booking hotels. The gay neighborhood in Miami Beach is South Beach (SoBe). Unless you’re just concentrating on SoBe exclusively, you big fag, you’ll need a car to get around.
Before heading to the Miami area, invest in some good mirrored sunglasses and practice your neck stretches. The nonstop parade of gorgeous people will cause much gawking and rubbernecking. If Latinos and Latinas are your thing, your thing is gonna go crazy here. Besides helping to beautify the populace, the mix of Cuban and Latin American influences give the area an international flair that gets everyone in vacation mode. The city itself boasts the international headquarters for many finance, entertainment, fashion, and travel businesses, which means the place drips with beauty, affluence, and decadence.
Those of the homosexual persuasion will find themselves drawn to South Beach. Here you’ll find trendy restaurants and amazing shopping (look for the Lincoln Road pedestrian mall). Those in Miami City may also want to check out the trendy Design District. During the day, you can enjoy the sunbaked pheromones wafting around the beach at 12th and Ocean (mostly gay, but lesbians and straights play here too). Of course, there are beach activities, historic Art Deco buildings, and fun cafes to enjoy, but most importantly, it’s from here that you’ll be able to scope out the landscape and decide who to stalk at the bars and clubs that night.
If you’re not into clubs, get over it. You must experience the exotic, circuit-driven scene at least once. The nightlife here is world-renowned and out of control, in the best possible ways. The spirit of the place is intoxicating, so pace yourself, lest your hot Miamian night turns into a hot Miamian mess.
Summertime is mostly for the locals, but when the rest of the country gets frosty, the tourists swarm. Anytime between October and May is a great time to be in the area. October brings Carnival, while November boasts White Party (the nation’s oldest). January may get a tad chilly, but by March when the Winter Party Festival starts, the heat is back. Those looking to get an early start on Pride season should hit Miami in April. But you don’t need a special event to visit the high-energy, fast-paced, Latin-infused, and most importantly, year-round Miami. If you aren’t coming to party, you better be coming to retire.