Feeling trapped in DC during the inauguration madness? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Whether you live here or fate has stranded you in the capital (thanks, work), there’s absolutely no need to endure the circus. Avoid the inauguration in DC with plenty of distractions to keep your mind on anything but “Making America Great Again.” Washington DC may be the center of political drama, but it’s also got countless ways to help you reclaim your experience, minus the red ties and MAGA hats. Here’s your LGBTQ+-friendly guide to making it happen.
1. Find Your Zen in “America’s Front Yard”
Yes, the National Mall will be overrun with crowds, chants, and probably some questionable fashion choices. But hear me out—it’s worth a visit after the dust settles. Think of it as a detox for your soul.
Picture this: Strolling past the Washington Monument, where you can squint and pretend it hasn’t witnessed decades of political chaos. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial might make you tear up (in a good way), and the Lincoln Memorial will remind you that unity was once a thing. Plus, the Mall is massive, so you can escape the noise and claim your own little slice of serenity.
Pro Tip: Treat yourself to a selfie with Honest Abe and caption it “Missed my shot in politics, but I nailed it in history.”
2. Escape to the National Arboretum—Your Botanical Wonderland
When the city feels suffocating, head to the National Arboretum. With 446 acres of lush gardens, bonsai trees, and a heavy dose of peace and quiet, it’s practically begging you to take a break.
Enjoy a moment under the iconic Capitol Columns (way more photogenic than any politician). Wander through the Bonsai Pavilion, where tiny trees will leave you feeling like a giant (finally). Need more zen? Just sit, breathe, and remind yourself that there’s still beauty in the world—even if politics isn’t it.
And if someone asks, tell them you’re there for “research”—because studying medicinal plants totally counts as self-care.
3. Eat Your Feelings at Union Market
When life gets political, carbs are the answer. Union Market, a food haven for locals and tourists alike, is where you can forget your troubles with a taco—or three.
From wood-fired pizzas to crispy dumplings, the variety here will cure your inauguration-induced blues. Need dessert? Grab an acai bowl and tell yourself it’s healthy (it’s basically a smoothie, right?). Or, go all out with an artisanal peanut butter sandwich. Yes, it’s a thing, and no, you won’t regret it.
Don’t skip the outdoor patio—it’s perfect for letting the city drama fade into background noise. Bonus points if you strike up a conversation with a fellow foodie—nothing says community like bonding over overpriced avocado toast.
4. Georgetown: The Gaycation You Deserve
If DC were a family, Georgetown would be the fabulous older sibling who avoids political arguments. It’s charming, classic, and dripping in vibes.
Spend your afternoon meandering along cobblestone streets, popping into boutiques, and pretending you’re starring in an indie film. When your feet get tired, refuel at one of the quaint cafes. Whether it’s a lavender latte or an overpriced cocktail, you’ll instantly feel like the sophisticated queer royalty you are.
Pro Tip: Hit the waterfront for stunning views and maybe, just maybe, a thirst trap or two. Who could say no to a scenic pic of you living your best stress-free life?
5. Chase Calm in DC’s Green Spaces
Looking for something gayer than a park? How about a fabulous park? DC’s green spaces are where nature meets inclusivity (well, maybe not officially, but we can dream). And they’re the perfect spots to avoid the inauguration in DC.
Here are the star players:
- Rock Creek Park: A sprawling wilderness perfect for hiking, biking, or just wandering until you forget what “filibuster” means.
- Meridian Hill Park: Tiered fountains, statues, and a chill vibe that says, “I’m here for the aesthetics.”
- National Cathedral Grounds: Why not stroll among 59 acres of lush greenery and whisper “Can these trees solve Congress?” into the Olmsted Woods?
- Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden: This spot mixes art and nature like a well-crafted cocktail. Plus, you can whisper your hopes for the future into Yoko Ono’s “Wish Tree.” A better tomorrow starts with you, babe.
Remember, DC Is More Than Its Drama
At its heart, Washington, DC, is more than just politics and chaos. It’s a city of diversity, history, and hidden gems—waiting for you to claim as your own. Whether you’re sipping coffee in Georgetown, gazing at bonsai in the Arboretum, or devouring dumplings at Union Market, this city can still be yours—no matter what’s happening on Capitol Hill. Avoid the inauguration in DC, and instead, uncover the real magic of the city.
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